Assignment 8
All
your senses are involved in this rendezvous
with art. I closed your eyes and breath deeply, there was an amazing strong,
aromatic, and smooth smell of coffee and chamomile tea, it was almost like I
could taste it, a symphony of flavors.
Nice work, Nathalie!
ReplyDeleteWhy did you switch from second-person "you" to first-person "I"? Choose one or the other. If you're going to go with first-person, change the opening to "All my senses..."
I'm also confused by the phrase "I closed your eyes." This makes the essay sound very (and I mean very) intimate. That's not a bad approach to take, but I want to make sure it's deliberate.